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Blog 1: Halo’s Halo

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It really bugs me how Arma 3 does Halo better than the new Halo does Halo. The official Halo game after Reach have slowly but surely gotten farther and farther away from what made the first trilogy great. Where there used to be a sense of wonder and awe as you discovered the Halo rings, fought off the endless waves of the zealots belonging to the mysterious Covenant, and just survived disaster, friends in tow. In the newer Halo games, any of the more genuinly exciting moments are quick time events and cutscenes. It feels almost hollow, like the fun had been scooped out and placed elsewhere. And that scoop must have landed in Operation: Trebuchet, a fan-made modification for Arma 3. Operation: Trebuchet (or OPTRE, for short) sets the game in the years before the Spartans were public knowledge. The player team plays the UNSC marines (the friendly mooks of the series) and are forced to start using real world strategy, tactics, and planning to complete objectives. Personally, I have been playing through an OPTRE Liberation map, where my friends and I have to defeat the Insurgent Forces (rebels fighting for freedom) by freeing every city from their clutch. OPTRE creates situations that feel like the original Halo games. Cookie, Lizard, Gub (a personal friend), and I, armored head to toe, were dropped from orbit as Orbital Drop Shock Troopers (ODSTs, protagonists from Halo 3: ODST, go figure) in the middle of a city-wide firefight. Dropships filled with friends and foes zipped back and forth from their respective bases, fueling the battle further. Our mission on the way in was to secure a building to prepare a forward medical base. Our mission when we got there was to survive. Moments that would be quick time events in the new Halo games are fully played and thought through. Cookie carrying Lizard’s unconcious body across No Man’s Land to get to me so I can sew his innards back in him, or Gub narrowly escaping the watchful eye of enemy helicopters, looking for targets. Tense moments and exhilirating moments came by completely unscripted, and often left us wishing to return back to base to watch funny videos and relax instead. Watching the burning husk of a transport, freshy lit ablaze, falling from the sky in the night, knowing it was our way home, evokes the same emotions that the new Halo games can’t quite reach.

39 Straight Shooters

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Video game journalism has seen some ups and downs in recent history.  The new Star Wars Battlefront 2 beta, for example, received an incredible amount of flak for what is best described as nit picky know-it-alls hunting for reasons to complain, sucking the fun and potential from the game like some sort of journalist vampire. Things such as the crate system were blown way out of proportion, so much so that the developers were forced to reiterate that they were going to be overhauled before release. I find it hard to believe that the Battlefront 2 loot crates can be so much worse than the repetitive, meaningless pile of trash that is Overwatch. Eugh.

There is a strange phenomenon going on in the game journalist circles. Reviews are written on games by people that don’t play games. I wouldn’t be so critical on the game journalist industry if it wasn’t so important to the lifespan of a game. All it takes is one slip and oops! A game with massive potential that could have had a long lifetime has died within months because it was given to the journalist who didn’t like the color of the villain’s shoes. Some games, like Cuphead, can survive and even thrive despite the trash, but certain other games that will NOT be named have caused enough internet drama to fill a life time. Why are people that don’t even play and understand games deciding their fates?

Seems like nonsense to me.

-Uncle Dogster

38 Boneman Redux

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It’s been a while since we touched on Elder Scrolls Online. For a quick refresher, Lizard is an all powerful wizard traveling the lands in search for history and adventure, and I am a skeleton who impulsively kills any villager i find. Good times and wacky antics abound. Sometimes Lizard gets tired of my antics, and this comic is based on one such encounter. No real people were harmed, of course. Some immersion was broken though.

 

37 Weird Old Trick

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Skyrim Together is on the cusp of release, Bethesda’s Creation Club is ruining everything, and the sails have been hoisted. That’s right folks, October has commenced, and that means two things. One, it’s time for everyone at Various Garbage to start playing Skyrim again. Two, the time for Skeletons is once again at hand. Expect a bunch of odd bone related jokes as well as other spooky hi-jinks for the coming month.

-Uncle Dogster

P.S. Skyrim Together is a mod under development that intends to add genuine, playable, modifiable (to a degree) multiplayer Skyrim: Special Edition. If you don’t think I’m psyched out of my mind about it, you’re mistaken.

36 Doomed

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Doom 2016 and Wolfenstein: New Order are coming to the Nintendo Switch.. I mean, I know I shouldn’t be surprised, and don’t get me wrong, I am fully on board for Nintendo taking a more adult approach, but this is a jump I was NOT expecting. Skyrim, I admit, does have blood and action and some seriously darker tones, but Doom? This is a franchise about fighting the legions of hell by brutalizing everything you can get your little hands on.

Isn’t that kind of awesome?
-Uncle Dogster

35 Indie Author Bingo

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We mean no harm or insult to Indie authors. We here at Various Garbage support a free and open market for literature on the internet. But it’s impossible for us not to poke fun when we filled this card out in one day. It’s incredible to watch Serpie’s twitter feed (over his shoulder, of course) and see the floating heads and book stacks flow by. Lizard wants to do an Indie game bingo, while Serpie wants to do web comic bingo. I think bingo isn’t that great and that we should move on. Let us know what you think on twitter.

-Uncle Dogster

34 Rise of the Amiibo Antichrist

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Lizard and I are avid players of Super Smash Brothers 4. I wouldn’t say we’re good, we’re far from competitive play, but we’re not terrible. Despite the fact I main DeDeDe, I swear I don’t suck. Serpie has always expressed an interest in Smash Bros, but isn’t the sort of person willing to spend the time to train up. So we introduced him to the Amiibo training system with the company Mario Amiibo. I admit, I helped him train the little beast. To this day I don’t know what he did to that Amiibo but that Thing is beyond help. Alpha, as It’s new name implies, has dominated the Various Garbage Smash scene without fail. The only time It has been defeated is when we play some cheap trick on it. They never work twice.
-Uncle Dogster

P.S. Whenever we find ourselves at a con booth expect to see Alpha. We’ll bring him. If you can beat It, you’ll get a free shirt. Ain’t that neat? Good luck, you’re gonna need it.

33 Mechahitler

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It’s finally over. After years of work, the Shitler arc is done. After hours of sitting around, handing every guard the most powerful, expensive equipment, and listening to the cries of those who believed we were enabling “Fail RP,” we finally have something to show for it. To this day, the server where Mecha-Hitler was even an option has a rule. “No Shitler.” John Pickle is a name that has weight. It’s a threat. Finally, we can move on.
-Uncle Dogster
P.S. Nazi nazi nazi Hitler mecha robots. I learned what SEO meant.

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