Oh boy. Don’t let Serpie’s lies fool you. I’ve been hard at work on a Various Garbage Discord channel. A Discord channel will allow us to interact with you directly, as well as allow us to host fun events for all ages to enjoy. It’ll be a real banger. I’ve also been rallying my little personal army for a second resurgence of the Bone. Soon enough, my bone brothers and sisters, we shall ride again on yet another great Bone Crusade, to bone all the peasants in the lands. No, I will never stop thinking skeletons are funny, yes, all are welcome among the cleansing bone.
-Uncle Dogster
Lack of blurb brought to you by Uncle Dogster’s chronic medical condition: Extreme laziness.
-Admin
This is the actual message that Uncle Dogster used in the election on the WWII Occupation server. We had Serpie dramatize it a bit. -Admin
It’s strange to see that Evil has sort of formed into two groups (I say Evil and I mean undeniable evil, like Sauron, vampires, and care bears). You’ve either got classic monster evil. Things like vampires, skeleton minions, orcs and such. Classic evil laughs maniacally as they do their dark deeds, spreading chaos and destruction across the lands. Think of Dracula, undead warriors in tombs, or Voldemort. I don’t know if Voldemort is that good of an example since he couldn’t even defeat a bunch of high school kids, but you get the idea. Classic evil wants to defeat the protagonists to further their searches for power and dominion of the material world. Then you’ve got what I’m calling Neo-Evil. Neo-Evil doesn’t have as grand goals as Classic Evil did. Neo-Evil hates a specific person or group due to some past event, or was made evil out of either someone else’s actions or bad luck, instead of a conscious and unbiased decision that the “good guys” suck and should be squashed because they stand in the way of the plan. This can make for more interesting villains like Bakugo (correct me if I’m wrong, I haven’t gotten far into MHA yet) from My Hero Academia or Mr. Freeze from DC. I find it interesting that It’s not enough to just be power hungry anymore, now you need a reason to be mean, preferably something that makes you super “relate-able”. Why can’t evil just be evil?
-Uncle Dogster
P.S. I’m not evil.
We’re finally continuing the Shitler arc. Not only are we picking up a while after we left off, but we’re also introducing a new regular, Cookie. He loves long walks on the beach, dancing in the rain, and blowing fascist dictators to smithereens, all while sporting his iconic balaclava. What a swell guy.
In other news I love Rust for the same reason I hate Rust. It is a constant storm of chaos and destruction. You can’t go 5 minutes without someone getting shot, betrayed, killed, or enslaved. I’m experiencing this draining cycle once more with Cookie and Lizard (much less Lizard, he ends up playing Planet Coaster more often.) I’m feeling burned out after 3 solid days of Rust, but I can’t just give up now. That would let my enemies win. I refuse to give them that satisfaction.
-Uncle Dogster
P.S. Cookie if you’re reading this, I’m sorry about the dating profile joke. I know you’re in a VERY serious relationship with your Dakimakura. No harm intended. <3
This is the last of The Ultimate Evil for now. Do you get it? Cat’s are evil! Hilarious. The Various Garbage team is Team Dog all the way. Next week, we return to the Shitler arc, which will introduce Cookie, our rascal of a friend.
-Uncle Dogster
You may have noticed our site has been fixed up. That is all thanks to Serpie, who took some extra time to spiffy things up. Hopefully the changes work, and some of this is readable. Our merchandise shop has been updated as well with a new Cronenberg Voltron shirt. Purchase one if you like disgusting flesh abominations, and don’t if you don’t. I’m not your boss. The world is your oyster.
-Uncle Dogster
We’re planning to update the site soon. New banner, new design, perhaps even a persistent story line separate from our usual random stuff. Stay tuned.
-Various Garbage Admin
Big week for everyone here at VG. The Steam sale kept us busy. I’ve been picking up gems like Starpoint Gemini: Warlords and Halcyon 6 while Lizard snapped up Hyper Light Drifter. Even though Steam is pulling the money right out of our wallets, we still can’t stop ourselves from being excited about the new Mii game, Miitopia. I played the demo all of 30 minutes before writing this and boy oh boy is it something. I personally adored Tomodachi Life for it’s absurdity, and Miitopia delivers a nice second helping with an early Final Fantasy flair. The fact all main characters are your Miis can create some bizarre moments, even more so if your 3DS is heavily populated with the world’s most infamous dictators, like mine is.
-Uncle Dogster
