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Various Garbage’s writer and chief architect of all our stories and comics. Also a pretty swell guy.

30 Shitler Part Nine

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This week the Minge and the Cringe have a one-sided verbal spar. It’s important to mention, these comics are based on real events. The Minge and the Cringe are not based on real people. The Minge and the Cringe are concepts. The Cringe stands for serious, hardcore role play. The Cringe takes himself and the fantasy worlds he visits fully and completely seriously. It is not wrong to be on the Cringe’s side, since some of the best lore comes from the Cringe. The Minge, on the other hand, stands for letting loose and screwing with people. Lying all the time, messing with the system, all while using the most broken weapon to ruin everyone else’s fun. It’s not wrong to be aligned with the Minge, I am and I’m not a bad person.

I hope.
-Uncle Dogster

 

29 Shitler Part Eight – The Minge and the Cringe

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Oh boy. Don’t let Serpie’s lies fool you. I’ve been hard at work on a Various Garbage Discord channel. A Discord channel will allow us to interact with you directly, as well as allow us to host fun events for all ages to enjoy. It’ll be a real banger. I’ve also been rallying my little personal army for a second resurgence of the Bone. Soon enough, my bone brothers and sisters, we shall ride again on yet another great Bone Crusade, to bone all the peasants in the lands. No, I will never stop thinking skeletons are funny, yes, all are welcome among the cleansing bone.
-Uncle Dogster

 

26 Shitler Part Six

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It’s strange to see that Evil has sort of formed into two groups (I say Evil and I mean undeniable evil, like Sauron, vampires, and care bears). You’ve either got classic monster evil. Things like vampires, skeleton minions, orcs and such. Classic evil laughs maniacally as they do their dark deeds, spreading chaos and destruction across the lands. Think of Dracula, undead warriors in tombs, or Voldemort. I don’t know if Voldemort is that good of an example since he couldn’t even defeat a bunch of high school kids, but you get the idea. Classic evil wants to defeat the protagonists to further their searches for power and dominion of the material world. Then you’ve got what I’m calling Neo-Evil. Neo-Evil doesn’t have as grand goals as Classic Evil did. Neo-Evil hates a specific person or group due to some past event, or was made evil out of either someone else’s actions or bad luck, instead of a conscious and unbiased decision that the “good guys” suck and should be squashed because they stand in the way of the plan. This can make for more interesting villains like Bakugo (correct me if I’m wrong, I haven’t gotten far into MHA yet) from My Hero Academia or Mr. Freeze from DC. I find it interesting that It’s not enough to just be power hungry anymore, now you need a reason to be mean, preferably something that makes you super “relate-able”. Why can’t evil just be evil?
-Uncle Dogster

P.S. I’m not evil.

25 Shitler Part Five

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We’re finally continuing the Shitler arc. Not only are we picking up a while after we left off, but we’re also introducing a new regular, Cookie. He loves long walks on the beach, dancing in the rain, and blowing fascist dictators to smithereens, all while sporting his iconic balaclava. What a swell guy.

In other news I love Rust for the same reason I hate Rust. It is a constant storm of chaos and destruction. You can’t go 5 minutes without someone getting shot, betrayed, killed, or enslaved. I’m experiencing this draining cycle once more with Cookie and Lizard (much less Lizard, he ends up playing Planet Coaster more often.) I’m feeling burned out after 3 solid days of Rust, but I can’t just give up now. That would let my enemies win. I refuse to give them that satisfaction.

-Uncle Dogster

P.S. Cookie if you’re reading this, I’m sorry about the dating profile joke. I know you’re in a VERY serious relationship with your Dakimakura. No harm intended. <3

14 The Bone Man

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I just can’t help myself. As soon as I found out you could turn into a skeleton in Elder Scrolls: Online, it was over. There is no Haznar Blubbins, only Boneman. I have become a considerable weight to my team. I require at least two escorts whenever we pass through any town, not to protect me, but to protect the town. Haznar Blubbins was once a good man, helping people and fighting evil, no longer. In my defense, the NPCs are insufferably whiny. I’m pretty sure Tamriel’s society completely depends on the fact that adventurers need XP from quests. As it turns out, killing them also gives out XP. Oddly enough, I’ve discovered that I’m not the only one with an insatiable lust for murder. A boneman guild, the Bonemen (do not be dissuaded, ladies, we accept bone babes as well as skele-sisters and calcium cuties) has formed, our sole purpose being to spread death and chaos across Tamriel, leaving a sea of bodies in our wake. If you decide you want to join me in my crazy carnage carnival, my account name is uncle_dogster, send me a friend request and I’ll bring you into the fold. Join us, my brothers and sisters, for all fleshies must die!

-Uncle Dogster

13 A Powerful Ally Part Four

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This is the last of our Star Wars themed comics for a while. I promise we’ll be back to Star Wars eventually, but it may be a tad different. Personally, I’ve enjoyed digging into the dark side. Sometime in the future I’ll explore more in depth how the Jedi are really just a bunch of frat boys while the Sith are clearly the cool guys, maybe a bit moody, but definitely the ones you would want to hang out with. I have to admit I’ve been playing games other than Star Wars: The Old Republic or my recent guilty pleasure Elder Scrolls: Online (I’ve heard complaints that Elder Scrolls isn’t a real MMO, but that’s why I like it.) No, lately I’ve been playing the Craft and Slash RPG modpack for Minecraft, which has the content and arguably the depth of an MMORPG, without all the nonsense. It’s gotten to the point where I actually started a server just so my friends could help out. I’ll include a link down below if you’re interested in seeing what we’ve been up to. Maybe you can defeat the overwhelming evil before we can. I know we’ve played for about 2 days and have gotten maybe 10 minutes worth of progress done.
You can find the Technic pack here.
-Uncle Dogster

12 A Powerful Ally Part Three

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Disclaimer: I do think lightsabers are cool. I promise. I just also think the the Force beats having a lightsaber every time. How often would a Jedi accidentally cut themselves open without the Force? All the time. It really mystified me that so many people in Star Wars: The Old Republic chose to completely forget about the Force and focus on their lightsaber. It’s so easy to stun and crush your enemy from a distance with the Force. Why would you want to get yourself in harm’s way, or worse, dirty? Do you have any idea how much it costs to run a full body cloak through a dry cleaner? I don’t and I don’t want to find out! The Jedi aren’t the Sith’s true enemy, it’s dust. This is one of many good reasons I put all my points into crushing people with the Force from afar. I also highly recommend any of the stun abilities. There’s nothing quite like watching a Jedi stare blankly ahead while you caress them tenderly with lightning.

You may have noticed we have ads now. For those of you using adblocker (i.e. all of you), I’d like you to imagine a starving dog on the side of the road, and all it takes to make it feel a little bit better is to look at it. You are choosing to wear sunglasses that prevent that dog from getting its happiness. Food for thought. And me, have I mentioned I’m not fed if I don’t bring in views? It’s not true, I’m just mentioning it. For fun.

-Uncle Dogster

 

 

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