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14 The Bone Man

14 The Bone Man published on No Comments on 14 The Bone Man

I just can’t help myself. As soon as I found out you could turn into a skeleton in Elder Scrolls: Online, it was over. There is no Haznar Blubbins, only Boneman. I have become a considerable weight to my team. I require at least two escorts whenever we pass through any town, not to protect me, but to protect the town. Haznar Blubbins was once a good man, helping people and fighting evil, no longer. In my defense, the NPCs are insufferably whiny. I’m pretty sure Tamriel’s society completely depends on the fact that adventurers need XP from quests. As it turns out, killing them also gives out XP. Oddly enough, I’ve discovered that I’m not the only one with an insatiable lust for murder. A boneman guild, the Bonemen (do not be dissuaded, ladies, we accept bone babes as well as skele-sisters and calcium cuties) has formed, our sole purpose being to spread death and chaos across Tamriel, leaving a sea of bodies in our wake. If you decide you want to join me in my crazy carnage carnival, my account name is uncle_dogster, send me a friend request and I’ll bring you into the fold. Join us, my brothers and sisters, for all fleshies must die!

-Uncle Dogster

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